I am the "meanest mom in America" according to my youngest son. This is actually a step up from the "meanest mom in the world" that my oldest son used to inform me I was. I said so this morning to my youngest after he gave me my new title. He was not as amused as I was about it. I have "ruined his life."
What did I do? you might ask.
Well we are implementing a point system at home that coincides with the point system at school to deal with behavior. He basically will have to earn points for priveleges. He is thoroughly testing this with me. So far, "it's embarrassing", it "is stupid", it "won't work anyway", and my personal favorite...he "can't wait to get to heaven because he bets God doesn't use a point system in heaven." To which I noted that he doesn't know that for sure, that maybe God does use a point system in heaven.
Ah the trials and tribulations of being a parent. Isn't it fun?!? There's never a dull moment that's for sure and it keeps you on your toes.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
Three Doctors and a Roll of Duct Tape
Well the stomach bug that just wouldn't go away finally met it's match, three doctors and a roll of duct tape. Let me explain....
Over the weekend my youngest DS with the bug was feeling better so I decided he was well enough to go to school. So I get him up Monday morning knowing he was going to be grumpy and try to get out of it anyway after missing basically a month of school with the winter break and having been sick. He woke up saying he felt like he was going to throw up. I made him get dressed anyway with him gagging a little bit in the process. He was still pale, but I just chalked that up to him being so sick for so long. He didn't want breakfast, which was definitely unusual for him.
We dropped my older DS off at school and then went on to his school. As soon as I parked he said he felt like he was going to throw up again. I was again thinking he just wanted to get out of going to school. As soon as I opened his door and he stood up on the sidewalk he proved me wrong. Again. And again. And again. So I sat him back down in the car and we went back home to bed. He slept a good three hours and was still sick when he woke up.
Meanwhile the doctor was trying to get him into a pediatric GI doctor but no one could see him this week. Finally at four they told me to go ahead and take him to the ER because he had been sick for so long and lost so much weight we needed to find out what it is. Well we decided to go to the ER in the local suburb around here instead of one of the several larger ones we have. Ours are typically known for their overcrowding and 6-7 hour waits. Well, we arrived at 6:30p.m. and I have to say this is the best ER I have ever seen and with two active boys, I've seen most of the one's our city has on numerous occasions. The wait was about five minutes total to get to a room. Immediately the doctor came in, it was wonderful.
Well after they took his urine they were going to have to draw blood. I expected this. I also expected an IV but was hopeful it would not come to that. It did of course. The phlebotomist came into the room and tried to reason with my son, who is unreasonable on a good day let alone when something bad is about to happen to him. She was very nice about the whole thing and was trying to reason for a good twenty minutes. Of course if she had never said "it will sting for just a minute" he might have been okay, maybe not. Me, I'm all for lying through your teeth. I would have said "it won't hurt a bit, you won't even feel a thing" and deal with the consequences later. I guess that too many people have sued for lying to patients because they never say that anymore.
After a few minutes more of trying to reason with him she left and said she would give him a few minutes. Well next thing we know this doctor comes into the room followed by two more doctors and a nurse. He said they were going to get this thing done so my mother-in-law and I answered meekly that we would wait outside. There were blinds on the window to his room and there was a tiny crack in them toward the bottom, so there I was, out in the hall peeking through the crack trying to determine what was happening by the movement of the doctor's thighs since that was all the crack allowed me to see. It was awfully quiet in there and I told my mother-in-law that the thighs didn't seem to be close enough to be holding him down. She suggested I quit torturing myself so I stood back and tried to look like I wasn't worried he was being tortured. About that time we heard a loud "owww" and then a nurse came out and said they were about done and were discussing Star Wars now.
So we ventured back into the room to see the doctor's laughing and talking about Star Wars with my DS while they were unwrapping tape from his legs and chest. That is why they weren't holding him, they taped him up so he couldn't move (wish I'd thought of that when he fights me over medicine, it might have saved me a few bruises). I'm sure it was some kind of sterile surgical something or other tape, but my mother-in-law said it took three doctors and a roll of duct tape to get the IV in. They also splinted both elbows so he could not mess with the line and of course when you cannot bend your elbows most assuredly your nose is going to pick that time to itch. Poor thing looked so pitiful trying to get his finger around to scratch his nose with his elbows stuck out straight. Well we finally found out it was a bug he picked up from tap water and they gave us antibiotics for him and sent us on our way after only three hours in the ER. This place was wonderful. I was expecting to be there at least four more hours.
Over the weekend my youngest DS with the bug was feeling better so I decided he was well enough to go to school. So I get him up Monday morning knowing he was going to be grumpy and try to get out of it anyway after missing basically a month of school with the winter break and having been sick. He woke up saying he felt like he was going to throw up. I made him get dressed anyway with him gagging a little bit in the process. He was still pale, but I just chalked that up to him being so sick for so long. He didn't want breakfast, which was definitely unusual for him.
We dropped my older DS off at school and then went on to his school. As soon as I parked he said he felt like he was going to throw up again. I was again thinking he just wanted to get out of going to school. As soon as I opened his door and he stood up on the sidewalk he proved me wrong. Again. And again. And again. So I sat him back down in the car and we went back home to bed. He slept a good three hours and was still sick when he woke up.
Meanwhile the doctor was trying to get him into a pediatric GI doctor but no one could see him this week. Finally at four they told me to go ahead and take him to the ER because he had been sick for so long and lost so much weight we needed to find out what it is. Well we decided to go to the ER in the local suburb around here instead of one of the several larger ones we have. Ours are typically known for their overcrowding and 6-7 hour waits. Well, we arrived at 6:30p.m. and I have to say this is the best ER I have ever seen and with two active boys, I've seen most of the one's our city has on numerous occasions. The wait was about five minutes total to get to a room. Immediately the doctor came in, it was wonderful.
Well after they took his urine they were going to have to draw blood. I expected this. I also expected an IV but was hopeful it would not come to that. It did of course. The phlebotomist came into the room and tried to reason with my son, who is unreasonable on a good day let alone when something bad is about to happen to him. She was very nice about the whole thing and was trying to reason for a good twenty minutes. Of course if she had never said "it will sting for just a minute" he might have been okay, maybe not. Me, I'm all for lying through your teeth. I would have said "it won't hurt a bit, you won't even feel a thing" and deal with the consequences later. I guess that too many people have sued for lying to patients because they never say that anymore.
After a few minutes more of trying to reason with him she left and said she would give him a few minutes. Well next thing we know this doctor comes into the room followed by two more doctors and a nurse. He said they were going to get this thing done so my mother-in-law and I answered meekly that we would wait outside. There were blinds on the window to his room and there was a tiny crack in them toward the bottom, so there I was, out in the hall peeking through the crack trying to determine what was happening by the movement of the doctor's thighs since that was all the crack allowed me to see. It was awfully quiet in there and I told my mother-in-law that the thighs didn't seem to be close enough to be holding him down. She suggested I quit torturing myself so I stood back and tried to look like I wasn't worried he was being tortured. About that time we heard a loud "owww" and then a nurse came out and said they were about done and were discussing Star Wars now.
So we ventured back into the room to see the doctor's laughing and talking about Star Wars with my DS while they were unwrapping tape from his legs and chest. That is why they weren't holding him, they taped him up so he couldn't move (wish I'd thought of that when he fights me over medicine, it might have saved me a few bruises). I'm sure it was some kind of sterile surgical something or other tape, but my mother-in-law said it took three doctors and a roll of duct tape to get the IV in. They also splinted both elbows so he could not mess with the line and of course when you cannot bend your elbows most assuredly your nose is going to pick that time to itch. Poor thing looked so pitiful trying to get his finger around to scratch his nose with his elbows stuck out straight. Well we finally found out it was a bug he picked up from tap water and they gave us antibiotics for him and sent us on our way after only three hours in the ER. This place was wonderful. I was expecting to be there at least four more hours.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Teenagers AARRRGGHHH!!!
I have decided the only reason teenagers are put on this earth is to drive their parents insane. Here's an example:
Today, being the nice, caring mother I should be, I called my teenage son who is home sick today with his little brother who is also sick. It was eleven a.m. and I was about to take my lunch. Here is our conversation:
He was asleep and answered groggily, "What?"
Me: "What would you like me to get you for lunch?"
Teenage Son: "I dunno, nothin."
Me: "Do you want Taco Bell." (His absolute favorite resteraunt that he would eat four times daily if I let him).
Teenage Son: "Nah, nothin."
Me: "What would your brother like?" (I knew the answer but asked anyway for the heck of it)
Teenage Son: "McDonald's."
Me: "Do you want something from McDonald's?"
Teenage Son: "Nah, nothin."
Me: "I could get you a fruit salad..." (Except for the Taco Bell he's a health nut).
Teenage Son: "I don't want nothin."
We hung up and I leave work to stop at an atm and get money and then get them some lunch. He calls me back in the middle of this and we have basically the same conversation. I go ahead and get him the fruit salad anyway and go home. I put it in his room where he is playing with his brother. I ask him again if he's sure he doesn't want me to get him anything else and he says no. Ordinarily I would not go to this much trouble but he is sick. I leave and go through and get my lunch to take back to work to me. As soon as I walk through the door to my building my cell phone rings...
Teenage Son: "I'm hungry and we don't have anything to eat."
I'm expecting the men in the white jackets to show up anytime for me.....
Today, being the nice, caring mother I should be, I called my teenage son who is home sick today with his little brother who is also sick. It was eleven a.m. and I was about to take my lunch. Here is our conversation:
He was asleep and answered groggily, "What?"
Me: "What would you like me to get you for lunch?"
Teenage Son: "I dunno, nothin."
Me: "Do you want Taco Bell." (His absolute favorite resteraunt that he would eat four times daily if I let him).
Teenage Son: "Nah, nothin."
Me: "What would your brother like?" (I knew the answer but asked anyway for the heck of it)
Teenage Son: "McDonald's."
Me: "Do you want something from McDonald's?"
Teenage Son: "Nah, nothin."
Me: "I could get you a fruit salad..." (Except for the Taco Bell he's a health nut).
Teenage Son: "I don't want nothin."
We hung up and I leave work to stop at an atm and get money and then get them some lunch. He calls me back in the middle of this and we have basically the same conversation. I go ahead and get him the fruit salad anyway and go home. I put it in his room where he is playing with his brother. I ask him again if he's sure he doesn't want me to get him anything else and he says no. Ordinarily I would not go to this much trouble but he is sick. I leave and go through and get my lunch to take back to work to me. As soon as I walk through the door to my building my cell phone rings...
Teenage Son: "I'm hungry and we don't have anything to eat."
I'm expecting the men in the white jackets to show up anytime for me.....
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Invaded by the flu
The stomach flu invaded my house last Friday. My little one lost six pounds this week. Poor thing. It's made him grumpy too. He does not like bland diets, let me tell you. We had to visit the nurse practitioner on Tuesday and I could tell she was apprehensive about asking for a urine sample after the last visit. Here is the reason why...
About a month ago he had to go for a sinus infection. While he was there I mentioned that he seemed to drink a lot more than other kids. The nurse wanted his urine checked. The medical assistant handed him a cup. He looked at her like she was crazy and she said: "I need you to to pee in the cup." My son sat back and looked at her and said: "I refuse." She looked shocked (as I'm sure I did) and said "why." He said. "That's just gross." She told him he wasn't old enough to refuse yet. I took him into the bathroom to do his business and he tried to tell me the same thing. I told him that I had the grossest part because I had to hold the cup. This made him happy so he went about his business without even a mess.
Things did not go so well this time. I had to beg, plead and then threaten to have them use a catheter on him. This time was messy.
Ah the life of a parent. Never dull.
About a month ago he had to go for a sinus infection. While he was there I mentioned that he seemed to drink a lot more than other kids. The nurse wanted his urine checked. The medical assistant handed him a cup. He looked at her like she was crazy and she said: "I need you to to pee in the cup." My son sat back and looked at her and said: "I refuse." She looked shocked (as I'm sure I did) and said "why." He said. "That's just gross." She told him he wasn't old enough to refuse yet. I took him into the bathroom to do his business and he tried to tell me the same thing. I told him that I had the grossest part because I had to hold the cup. This made him happy so he went about his business without even a mess.
Things did not go so well this time. I had to beg, plead and then threaten to have them use a catheter on him. This time was messy.
Ah the life of a parent. Never dull.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)